talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
smell my finger.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
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