she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize