He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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