Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
