How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
