When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My ATM looks so different sober.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
