i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
