nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
