"it" just moved
so that wasnt chicken after all
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize