All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
