just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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