How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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