I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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