She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
