i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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