I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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