can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
