i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
