Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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