My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize