Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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