He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
