I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You are a genius and a whore.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
