thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
