i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You made out with two different species that night
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
