Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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