so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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