i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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