Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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