How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
