Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wish life had little blips of pornography
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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