I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
kristin has been a bad kristin
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
