Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
