And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
