Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
