i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
