Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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