well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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