dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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