I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have aggressive nipples.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
