i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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