is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i think i just lost a toe
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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