You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
