just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize