She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
In America we eat man semen.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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