scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
