apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
