You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
