Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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