question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
