At least make sure they are 18
Why
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize