The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We don't watch enough power rangers
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
