There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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