I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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