Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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