you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
