I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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