left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
