Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize