Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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